Mommy Diaries - Worrying

I don't spend enough time with him because I work full time.
I'm not reading to him enough.

He doesn't eat enough.

I don't have enough patience with him.

Should he be spelling his name, saying his ABC's and counting to 20 by now?

We should play outside more...even though it's the middle of winter.
He should be potty trained by now.
How do I get him to STOP...throwing, hitting, screaming?

The list goes on and ON...

And for a moment I think that I am the only mommy that worries like this...that I am the only mommy that makes these mistakes every day...I'm the only mommy that feels this guilt.

When I look back at the things I used to worry about when he was a small infant, how I would watch him breath in his sleep every night. Then the things I worried about as he started to walk and explore, and the things I worry about now that he is growing in to his own little person...I realize as a mommy your worries never really go away...they just change and adjust as your child grows. 

I finally let little G go to Chuck E. Cheese and ride on the cars at the mall (such a breading ground for sickness), even though I have my disinfectant wipes very handy!

I finally let him walk down the stairs with out standing a few steps in front of him. 

I finally let him go down the BIG slide at the park by himself.

He's growing up...and so am I. 

I realize I CAN'T do it all...but I will certainly try my best!  And sometimes the laundry won't get done and the beds definitely won't get made, I'll show up late to work with a stain on my shirt, and we won't have a home cooked meal EVERY night of the week...but that stuff doesn't matter. 

I'm sure I'll NEVER stop worrying but sometimes I have to stop myself in the craziness of every day life...and realize what is really important.  We are happy and healthy. 

And when I look at my son, who will just turned 2, and he smiles back at me...and says "mommy come...play trucks"...I get down on the ground and we make truck sounds and giggle like there nothing else in the world that needs to get done!  I remember that moments like these are what's important, these are the moments HE will remember, and that this is what being a mommy is all about!

~Kara

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